One thing I'm definitely thankful for: in making myself resume weekly posts I've discovered that I do, in fact, have time to blog. Of course, considering the responsibilities of my life at the moment, one thing always takes the place of the other. Instead of curling up with a book and my coffee Saturday mornings, I'm holed up on the computer (which is fixed!) for the same amount of time.
I think this week was the hardest by far in terms of frustration. I was hangry all week long. Why does being hungry make me angry? Why does food take up so much of my thoughts? I've told Eli for me it's like being a drug addict who's trying to get clean, but who needs to take just a little bit of his drug daily for the rest of his life to stay alive: never enough to satisfy. Alcoholics can completely abstain from alcohol, but I still need to eat. And I enjoy eating way too much. There's plenty of psychological research on food addiction and unhealthy relationships with food. In a quick Google search I discovered there are even Food Addicts Anonymous groups.
Here's a little peek into my food world:
Our can cupboard looks like this when I'm on a diet. When I can't think of a "safe" meal to eat, or have no time to calculate how many calories are in whatever I'm making the boys: chicken and sausage gumbo it is, for a safe 240 calorie meal. Or tuna, for Fridays. Instead of mayo, I mix in a tablespoon of light Zesty Italian dressing at 13 calories. A can of tuna is 90 calories, so at 103 calories total I can add a vegetable to the side for a quick meal.
This is another common meal for me: salads. It can be mixed up in so many different ways depending on how many calories I can spare on it. This particular salad plus peppers was 170 calories. Higher calorie options include 4 slices of shaved turkey (50 cals), 1/8 cup cheddar (55 calories instead of 40 for mozzarella), sunflower seeds, ranch, etc.
This was one of the most satisfying breakfasts I've had this week. Thank you, potatoes! If I'm going to eat heavier like this I try to do it earlier in the day. Usually. I made the "shell" of the omelet out of 4 egg whites (68 calories--with yolks it would have been 312 calories). The filling was about 3/4 cup of prefried potatoes O'Brien (guessing at about 40 calories of olive oil per portion of potatoes post frying, for 100 calories total), 1/4 cup cheddar cheese (110 calories), and 20 calories of salsa. Egg white, potato and cheese omelet: 298. I had a really hard time believing the calories in the potatoes weren't much higher than what they said, though, and recorded this as 400 calories in my food journal to be on the safe side.
Eli bought me a 12 pack of La Croix carbonated water around Christmas in an attempt to break a can-of-pop-a-day habit I allowed to creep in during December. I never drink diet "sodas" because of the fear of getting cancer from the artificial sweeteners (though regular pop isn't any better in that regard, I'm sure...it's a mind thing). I'm not sure what I was expecting, but my first taste of La Croix was not pleasant. It reminded me of the salt and soda concoction Mom would have us gargle when we had sore throats, and would in turn make me gag and get sick. I can't throw pricey things away, however, so started mixing La Croix with fruit juice in order to use it up. In the last couple months since I've drastically reduced my sugar intake, I've splurged on maybe two cans of pop. I decided to try La Croix again yesterday, and found it wasn't as awful as on first try. It was a nice mix-up in my mostly coffee and water day, and 0 calories.
And this was the result of an entire day of hangrily dreaming of highly fatty, melted cheese something or others to binge on. I made pizza last night for supper. Since it was Friday there was no meat on it, but "my" pizza included sauteed bell peppers and onions and green olives (while the boys had just cheese). I was moderate and only ate two slices (about 3x3" square) but I still felt guilty because it felt like such a splurge. I'm not sure how many calories it really was, but guessed it at about 500 calories.
I always gain a few pounds back over the weekend; this week I had four pounds to relose. I lost two new pounds after relosing the four.
In the month of January I lost a total of 20 pounds.
