Scale Saturday 2018: Week 17

As you may have noticed, it's not Saturday. And though I hate to disappoint, there was no scale this past week either. It's probably hard to understand, but it took an incredible amount of mental energy for me to even begin this "nowhere" post. Fatigue has hit me like a Mack truck, so much so that yesterday I broke my one-cup-of-coffee rule with two, then promptly passed out and slept for most the afternoon with Addie. I'm here because I can't leave my weight battle hanging or I may just give up.

The past week was incredibly taxing, and I hit the limit of what I could handle around Tuesday. Come to think of it, Eli ripped the toilet (the one and only toilet) out Monday, so that's fitting. From there it was a marathon to install cement board, cut and lay tile, leave time for the thinset and mastic to dry, and then grout without having kids run through it. This was all started with the goal to have everything set and dry and ready for the new toilet to be installed Wednesday night after Eli got home from work. I was up until midnight a couple nights laying tile, with breaks in between to feed and put kids to bed.

I'll spare you every snag of the process, but we just made it in time for Addie's first birthday party Saturday with a fully functional bathroom.

I guess I don't feel completely alive unless I'm pushing myself to achieve ridiculous goals? I don't know.

So while the bathroom was all tore up the scale was tucked away in a closet. Every morning I dragged my sore aching body out of bed and thought about stepping on the scale. And every morning some other chore took precedence over the scale.

I can tell you as of Tuesday morning I was up 2 pounds from what I weighed in at Saturday. I cannot tell you where I am now, six days later. I ate what everyone else here ate, whatever was leftover. I didn't count calories. Tomorrow I'll drag myself back on the scale and begin again. Perhaps it's fitting that I let it rest for the remainder of April and will have renewed enthusiasm with the dawn of a new month. That's what I'll keep telling myself anyway. Until next Saturday!

Scale Saturday 2018: Week 16

Here we are again...another Saturday.

This post will be comparatively brief because there's tile waiting to be grouted. My exercise this week has been crawling around on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor, running to the garage to cut tile, and hopping up countless times to mediate, feed, and otherwise aid children. Oh, and trying to keep dust down to a fine layer...the dust is insane around here. We've had the components to redo our (one and only) bathroom for a year now and it's finally getting done. My Dad and Eli started the project off earlier this week, but when Eli had to go back to work Wednesday I took over as much as I was able. Make hay while the sun shines!

I've mentioned before that April has always been the Twilight Zone of my diets in the past. Perhaps more accurately described as limbo. No matter how hard I've tried I have never lost more than 5 pounds in the month of April. I'm not entirely certain whether it's physical or psychological, but most likely is a perfect storm of both. As the month nears it's end the theme seems to be continuing. For full disclosure, I also have not been trying as hard as I could this time around.

We had another Easter celebration last weekend, and I don't need my arm twisted to celebrate. I gained 9 pounds. NINE POUNDS. Yes, it is ridiculous, and I didn't know that was even possible in such a short period of time. I had quite a bit of salty food, so it's possible there was a bunch of water weight hanging around. Regardless, my all-weekend splurges are officially over. (I say this one week before my baby girl's first birthday party...eek.) I can't keep it up, especially if I continue this two steps forward, two steps back pattern. It's exhausting and disheartening. I lost nine pounds this week...but made no progress.

Scale Saturday 2018: Week 15

Week 15....have I really been at this for 15 weeks already? This is the first thought that comes to me every single week I start a Scale Saturday post. It sounds like such a long time.

My struggle this week has been with the junk food that keeps reappearing around here. Have I said this exact thing before? I feel like I have. I mentioned before the difficulty in sticking with a healthy diet when others in your home insist on buying junk, and cooking elaborate, calorie-laden meals several times a week. I know we're not the only family that struggles with this. When you're together you want to enjoy the time and what better way than eating? We grilled burgers, brats, hot dogs...had German potato salad...breakfast breads...hashbrown, sausage and cheese casserole...pizza...hard salami sandwiches...nachos, cheese puffs, honey roasted peanuts etc. etc. etc.

I'm not going to lie: I shed a couple tears in the effort it took to not load up my plate with some of the amazing food we've cooked. I've watched whole dishes be consumed without getting more than a bite because I could not afford the calories they contained. I didn't want another no-results week like last.

Weeks like last feel a lot like the Seven Days' Battles during the Civil War when the Union failed to capture the Confederate capital. They would eventually win the war, but there were plenty of battles they lost along the way. While it's disheartening taking steps back, keep in mind nothing great was achieved by giving up. We have this quote on the chalkboard in our school room:

He conquers who conquers himself. Each battle you do win, each little victory in overcoming a bad habit, gets you closer to where you want to be. And in the process you build will power, better habits to help hold you up when faced with a challenge.

Also this week, per request, I jotted down a detailed menu of everything I ate (including portion sizes) that I'll be working on typing up to add to a future Scale post. Doing this shed a lot of light on the ways my diet is not balanced. I want to remind you that I am in no way a dietitian or a nutritionist, and I often fail to meet the recommended daily servings of certain food groups. I've noticed recently that I'm bruising a lot (while quite accident prone, this is beyond the norm), losing a lot of hair, and my nails have become brittle. I started taking a multi-vitamin (something I should have been doing from the start). I'm also due for a physical: something that's so easy to put off because it's really hard taking that not-so-fun time for myself when there are a lot of little people here who always need me. But, since this whole journey is about improving health, it's also important to know where you are and to change paths if needed before things get too out of hand.

Weight loss totals per month:

January: -17 lbs.

February: -13 lbs.

March: -10 lbs.

April (so far): -3 lbs.

Scale Saturday 2018: Week 14

Four pounds. That is what this week of celebration has cost me. And I'm okay with it.

We enjoyed good food in moderation for Easter, and then celebrated Aidan's 11th birthday on Tuesday. It really was a special day, and he requested lunch at the local Chinese restaurant with just mama. Not even Addie tagged along, which is unusual. I only had room for half my Mongolian beef, so I brought the rest home and enjoyed it for supper. Knowing when I'm full and being able to step away is a huge milestone for me. I've struggled for years with the habit of continuing to eat just because the food tasted amazing.

My undoing was most likely in the pieces of birthday cake I enjoyed almost every day without following up with sufficient exercise. Honestly, when it's a celebratory week: EAT THE CAKE. Life is so short, you guys.

I end this week at the exact same weight as last. But at least I don't have to share +LB(s)!!! 

I realized that I haven't updated then and now photos and measurements in over a month, and there's no better time (and reminder!) than when I have a poor scale week.

In measurements:

Bust: -5 inches

Waist: -8 inches

Hips: -7 inches

My apologies for the hideous shirt dress! Back then, it was one of the few comfortable things that fit. I put it on to paint recently (hoping to slop enough paint on it to warrant throwing it away!) and decided to get a then-and-now photo in the same clothes. In it's defense, it had pockets.... 😂 (We also hope to get the new bathroom floor installed this month!)

Scale Saturday 2018: (Postponed Version) Week 13

As I mentioned in my last post, I decided to postpone my regular Scale Saturday post to honor the Paschal Triduum with virtual silence. My weekly weight update seems quite trivial when contemplating the Passion, Death, and Resurrection of Christ.

I weighed myself as usual Saturday morning, and haven't since, so I have no idea how the holiday has affected it. Regardless of what it is, I've resolved to not let it trip me up. I haven't binged on anything, but I have celebrated the holiday by allowing bread, cheese, potatoes, dessert, wine.... I have to keep reminding myself that it's all part of the natural ebb and flow of life.

We've been incredibly busy here lately, which is great for eliminating the "bored hunger". It's not great for getting hot, well-balanced meals put on the table. I gave up my egg white omelettes, and scrambled eggs with mushrooms and peppers for two boiled eggs with chipotle sauce, an orange, and maybe a yogurt for breakfast. In my mind I had the lurking thought that there was no way I could last all morning on just two eggs (and I am not a big fan of the flavor, thus the chipotle sauce), but eggs really are incredible. Protein helps reduce sugar cravings, and is best paired with a grapefruit, which works as an appetite suppressant. So many marketed "quick" breakfast foods are loaded with sugar and chemicals that set you up for failure as the day wears on. You really can't get any quicker than a hard boiled egg, especially when we boil a dozen at a time to keep in the fridge.

I recently downloaded the MyFitnessPal app because so many people have recommended it. I forgot that I had tried it (before it was an app) back in 2009, and my account was still active. I think I used it for one day before deciding that I still prefer pen and paper. Picking up my phone to record calories multiple times a day when I can just jot down already known calories in my journal is maddening, while pen and paper have always been cathartic for me. If you're a more digital-geared person, MyFitnessPal has an extensive database of foods and their nutritional value, whether you're eating out or cooking at home. They even have a water intake tracker, weight tracker, and an exercise tracker (with the ability to sync with a step tracker...though they don't recognize mine...grrr.) It's a great health tool if you're not the pen and paper type of person.

I've been debating whether to share this with you or not. My perfectionist tendencies are screaming at me it's so sloppy! You didn't try at all to write neatly! This was not meant to be public! What if your math is off and someone catches your wonky addition? They'll see some of your poor food choices! However, the following photos will help answer some questions about what I eat and how I track it.

*Notes: My daily caloric goal is to NOT exceed 1400 calories. However, my average daily calories are usually around 1100-1200.

As I mentioned what my breakfasts have been, I want to also mention that my largest meal of the day is eaten midday, usually by 1 pm. It's generally the one meal that includes meat, most of the carbs for the day, and the core of my daily calories. Supper is mostly a mix of carrots, peppers, nuts (28 *tiny* almonds equal 170 calories, so just watch portions!), and sometimes a yogurt if I feel a strong need for a treat.

My exercise goal is 30 minutes of jogging/running a day. It's always around the house; I still do not own any exercise equipment. I never meet this goal. I generally get about 15 minutes done before someone needs me/the phone rings/I see a chore that seems more important at the moment. I do, however, walk most the day just doing my regular chores. Once a week I get my (supposed to be daily) floor exercises done: a rotation of 20 leg lifts per leg, 40 scissor kicks, 30 seconds each of regular and reverse planks. 

In the journal entries where you see the calorie total ending in the 600's, it's because I forgot to add supper, but knew in my mind where I ended the day at. The same with the days ending in 800-900 calorie ranges are because I didn't add the carrots/peppers I finished the day with. (A whole small bag of baby carrots totals less than 200 calories.) The days I didn't add calories at all are most likely days I binged on something and gave up. 

My coffee contains so many calories because of the creamer and sugar I still use. It's a ray of sunshine in my days, and one I'm not ready or willing to part with at the moment. I have cut my coffee sugar in half, though. Pretty much the only other thing I drink is water, which is why you won't find many beverage calories recorded. If you're a juice/milk/pop/alcohol drinker don't forget that those all can add a lot of invisible calories to your total. 

Apparently I had Doritos with my eggs for breakfast one morning...and then fell off the wagon. Ha!

I also keep track of where my weight and measurements are in the same journal. It goes back eight years. Eight years. I record every time my weight moves, up or down, each time I step on the scale, and the date. I also track total pounds lost per month and per year (the "-__" number to the right of my weight), and when I hit personal goals. It's both inspiring and depressing, depending on the day!

Eli joined me for about a week, which is why his name appears at the top.

"SS" stands for "Scale Saturday".