Scale Saturday: Week 1

I weighed myself faithfully every day this week. Accountability. The first three days I gained three pounds. Frustratingly, while I thought I was telling myself no more often and making better food choices, I still was not journaling how many calories I consumed. It's so easy to sneak a bite of this or that all day long. Wednesday I was back on track with my calorie journal. Gulp. Accountability. Here we go again.

Panic ensued. By the end of the day Wednesday I had severe anxiety about everything, from worrying about tickets getting purchased for an event I want to attend next month to the number in the savings account that has become frighteningly low. Even realizing we were out of carrots brought on a round of weeping. Yes, really. In my irrational state of mind it never occurred to me to go out to the garden and dig more.

I know this emotional rollercoaster is part of reprogramming my ruined eating habits, having stripped away the calorie buffer I've been using to temper my emotions. I know it will get better. 

I had a 240 calorie bowl of soup for supper that first night. And a cup of tea to calm me. It's going to be alright. 

I've been eating my burritos as salads, with no shell or cheese, half a cup of meat and refried beans, and a whole lot of lettuce and salsa. Turkey wraps are a new favorite for lunch. A flour shell (190 cals) smeared with a tablespoon of cream cheese (45 cals), sprinkled with garlic pepper, then layered with about five slices of shaved turkey (50 cals) and lettuce (10 cals), then roll it up; at 305 calories for the whole wrap it's a surprisingly satisfying lunch. Grapefruit is also back in the house.

And now the results of week 1...did the number on the scale move (other than up) from my half a week of trying? The good news is that I did drop the three pounds I gained, plus another two pounds. So down a total of five pounds but only two count toward my 25 pound goal. 23 pounds to go!