I'd like to sit here and tell you all that I did it! I dragged myself back on the wagon and made up for all the lost time, and lost a ton of weight in the last few weeks! But the reality is this: during the past month the main thing I seemed to figure out is how to maintain my weight. I've occasionally treated myself, but mostly it's been so crazy busy that I haven't had time to worry so much about what food I'm eating and what my gravitational pull clocks in at every second of the day. That's probably the best part of summer. It takes me out of my own mind a bit.
It's the season of mud on the walls and sand on the floor and popsicle drip ant colonies. Everything is growing at a manic speed outside and if I don't get ahead of the garden grass now (as I did not do last year) it's going to choke out our food. Again. My friend is flying in from Oregon to stay again next week, which has also been a great incentive to get projects done. Upstairs has been getting a complete overhaul, which means multiple totes carried up and down stairs and out of the house. The reward has been a tired aching body and satisfaction at the progress that's been made.
For three days I made an attempt to resume calorie journaling, but it took more time than I was willing to invest in it. I found I still had some lingering feelings associated with my mental rebellion against the strictness of my diet. Instead of writing it all down, I tried to maintain the portion sizes and better food choices I habitualized in the beginning. As I've been saying all along, this has to be a way of life; we have to be able to live with the healthy changes we make or it will never work long term. A way of life that makes us feel oppressed and irritated will eventually backfire on us. So, while my progress has remained slow, it is still progress. I'm confident that by approaching my "diet" in a more relaxed way I'll have a better chance at making it an actual way of life, rather than trying to race to a finish line that really isn't there.
