The post was, no surprise, something I started writing two years ago, and have added to on and off ever since. To say it was all over the place is an understatement, but it does illustrate the fact that simplifying my life is far from a new ideal. In The Great Purge: Part I I described my desire but struggle to minimize our things. The Great (Furniture) Purge: Part II was about finally letting go of large unfinished projects and space gluttons. The (Not So) Great (Book) Purge: Part III illustrates my ongoing struggle to get rid of books, which is currently what I'm dealing with. The Great (Mostly Clothing) Purge: Part IV details the most overwhelming area of clutter for us... clothes. While I've shed copious amounts of tears over the baby clothes (specifically a stained box of burp rags that all four boys used), it's not particularly hard for me to part with most clothes. There are just so many of them. (I've also found in the past a minimalist wardrobe for boys does not work very well. The rate at which they grow out of and wear out clothes is mind blowing.)
This got me wondering, how many people from the past struggled with an excess of things? How many felt slaves to their possessions? I've certainly come across stories of the old time eccentrics and hoarders, but it definitely does not seem to be the norm for back then.
It's apparent that people are busier than ever these days. Just trying to schedule a day to get together with friends takes chess-like strategy and actual effort on both sides to make it work. With all the modern-day conveniences that we have, it should be easier keeping up, right? In theory we should have loads of free time. After all, we no longer have to scrub clothes over a washboard in a tub, or even run them through a wringer after washing, thanks to speedy spin cycles. Dryers have eliminated the need to spend time hanging clothes, and waiting hours for them to dry. We don't even have to leave the house to run a mile. Dishwashers have reduced post-meal clean up to some rinsing and wiping down (if you own one, that is!) Room-sized rugs no longer need to be hung over a railing to have the dust beaten out of them; vacuums can get the job done in minutes. There's a market full of creams, supplements, and machines that "do most of the work" for our bodies. Despite these aids, we seem to have a decreasing amount of time, and an increasing amount of health issues and disorders. What is going on?!
All these ponderings and ramblings have led me to the conclusion that we need to make changes to the very core of our lifestyles to simplify and find peace and happiness in our lives. This should be easy when viewed in light of what's coming in eternity, what really matters.
The theory I'm working off of, is that taking inspiration from our grandmothers' and grandfathers' ways of life will shed light on how to get back to the bare necessities if we find ourselves always falling behind, always stressed, always struggling to keep up. I'm still trying to find the balance of a simple life, and probably always will be, but it has gotten so much better lately.
For illustration sake, let me take you back in time to a much simpler way of life.
My personality naturally clings to traditions and classics, a lover of history, which is why I have to take care not to let my mind run away with the romance of an idealistic yet unrealistic lifestyle. There were obviously so many hardships that people endured because of the simpler times they lived in that most of us would not trade anything for. My goal is (simply) to simplify every aspect of my life. Even though swearing off the dryer in exchange for hanging all our laundry (which I really enjoy doing!), or dragging an old wood stove in here to cook sounds pretty stinking exciting to me...these are definitely not realistic. The new "in" word is minimalist, but whatever you choose to call it, there really is something to it.
Our grandparents worked hard. They taught their children to work hard and to be frugal. You cannot beat the satisfaction that comes from being productive, from the fruits of labor and being self-sufficient. It's freeing. There's also no need for a treadmill and the time to use it if you're on your feet most the day. Besides that, there is no way around it: working close to the earth makes you feel closer to God; a little cog in the wheel of creation. This is the main reason why I enjoy keeping a garden.
During the second World War people were encouraged to grow gardens in their backyards to help relieve the burden of wartime rationing. They were called Victory Gardens, and they made people feel part of the war effort. The thing is, they actually made a positive difference. Take a drive around suburbia now and you'll find very few edible gardens.
The older generations were mostly self-sufficient. Not only in growing, making, and preserving their own food, but they also built their own houses, barns, and furniture. They often sewed their own clothes and blankets, and did their own home maintenance. The time this took also meant that they made do with less. Paying others to do these things for them was almost unheard of in rural areas.
The skills needed to do these things were learned by passing the knowledge down from generation to generation. You didn't learn about animal husbandry or how to build steps that successfully reach from one floor to the next in a classroom, (paid for in all likelihood by borrowed money) but from Pa, and because he needed help with it. I would rather my sons knew how to plant a garden, or the basics of carpentry, than how to punch/kick/fireball in the latest video game. So many modern parents have adopted the mindset that children can't do much for themselves and need their hand held most their childhood. Give them the reigns to try, and I guarantee they will find for themselves how not to do things. Better yet, by getting hands-on experience, they will be less likely to forget how to do things. Staying busy with chores also helps eliminate a whole lot of trouble kids get themselves in because of boredom. Most kids, that is...there are exceptions to this, even in our family.
The older generations used things until they were literally unusable, instead of replacing things with the newest model--just because it was what the neighbors had. And often when something had worn out it's original purpose, it was reused in another capacity. As a child, many of the quilts I wrapped myself in were previously Grandma's polyester pants and Grandpa's Sunday shirts that had worn a little too thin. I remember sitting with Grandma and watching her knobby, work-worn hands point out this or that patch, and listening intently to what occasion she had worn it for. Each quilt was a collection of stories if only you cared to listen.
We call a lot of these ultra-frugal habits Depression-Era throwbacks or wartime habits, mannerisms learned during a time of great want. But is it that much different than simply living resourcefully with little waste? Nearly half of American homes put no money away in savings. How much poverty could we eliminate if we changed some of our living habits? How quick we often are to throw something out and buy new when all it needs is a little repair! Or worse--simply because we're tired of it! Our landfills are a monument to this waste.
Everything was simpler back then, from clothing to food. Meals were generally simple, nutritious, and enjoyed together as a family. Classics never go out of style, and neither do the basics.
Rather than making our lives easier, perhaps most of these gadgets we're filling our homes with are complicating life and stressing us out. Turning to a screen has become second nature for most of us. Isn't it a little disturbing that many children fail to know how to behave once they're disconnected from a screen? Being constantly entertained is creating a generation who will not be able to think for themselves, and a feeling of loss when they're deprived of it. It's no wonder so many of our children lack impulse control: they've been fed a steady diet of instant gratification.
People used to tell stories and play music around a fire. It was part of life, not just an occurrence during the annual family camping trip. Can you imagine the pioneers' reactions to how we "camp" now, and that we do it for recreation?! What in the world?!
They said daily prayers and read books as a family. They used their minds and imaginations instead of zoning out in front of a television, letting it direct their mind. Attention spans were longer; they had to be because critical thinking skills were essential for life. "Extracurricular" activities did not include shuttling children around for hours to practices or games, or staying on top of complicated schedules. And I say this as a mother with boys in little league. I hesitate to sign them up for anything else because of the chaos it would cause our summer.
How do we glean usable habits from what we know of the past? I've been jotting down a few things that have helped us simplify our life:
- First of all, minimizing happens in layers. We can't expect to raze our lives and homes and boom: stress free life.
- Remember that these are just things. We don't want relationships with things, but people.
- Start with the obvious junk, the stuff that is really useless or trash.
- Then ask, if it broke would it be a serious inconvenience? Would I really miss it? If not, try letting it go and never replacing it.
- Next eliminate multiples of things or many similar items. Try keeping just one, or just one per person.
- Are there things that have been stored for over a year without use? If so, you can probably live without it for much longer. Like forever.
- Does it have a home? If an item does not have a proper place to be (and I do not mean a storage tote or tucked in a corner): it's gone.
- Declutter in zones. Splitting our homes into trouble areas helps prioritize the spaces that need the most help, and keeps us from becoming overwhelmed with too much at once.
- STOP SHOPPING. Well, yeah, right? But I don't think we realize how many things we actually buy. It doesn't help us get ahead of the excess if we just keep adding to it. This is especially hard in this age of Amazon "Buy With One Click" buttons and impulse buys at the corner of every check out lane. When we try, we really can live without most things. I've found the best success in deleting shopping apps from my phone and just staying out of stores. And when you need something only pick up that thing instead of browsing around the store. I'm working on this one, so if you see me in the store and I don't see you it's because I have my eye on the prize and am making a bee-line to the toilet paper aisle.
- Once you've decided to part with something, get it out of your house. I can't count the hours of extra work I've spent re-removing things that found their way back into our lives because a box was left just sitting around. Or the things I fell back in love with just because I looked at it one too many times! For the things I'm selling, I move them out to the garage for two weeks. If it hasn't sold in two weeks, it's donated. And since I don't have the time or energy for a garage sale, anything worth less than $5 is just donated.
- Watch others declutter. Knowing we're not alone in this ongoing endeavor is comforting, and helps give us ideas of what to tackle and how to do it. (Or how not to do it.) There are helpful videos on YouTube. Here are a couple of my favorite:
Each "layer" you succeed in simplifying gives you a boost to tackle the next. The reward: liberation from things and a more peaceful life!
