Escape

Last night we "escaped" church. I sat outside in our vehicle with the kids waiting for one son to finish his duties, staring at this window and the peace it evoked and wished I could be sitting alone inside with Jesus. Despite just receiving Our Lord, I felt very disconnected and uncharitable.

It's the season of feeling stretched too thin, and the thought of small talk and niceties was just too much. I was spending more time stressing over what I might say rather then preparing my soul, and honestly it was giving me heart palpitations. I parked by the side door purposely so that we could make a quick exit.

Honestly, this overwhelmed feeling has been the prevailing theme for me not only this holiday season, but this whole year. As an introvert I struggle with the number of times I have to run kids to classes, appointments, or practices, often with no time to recover. Then my personality struggles with the desire to do-it-and-be-it-all, and the urge to give excuses or explanations when I "failed" to do something. And really, it didn't matter how much I accomplished, it never felt like enough. So I'm here to share my secret "cure" for this.

Let it go. Give it to God.

It's clichéd because it's true. And I don't know about you, but I need reminding often.

This Advent is about simplifying everything, because it's what we need right now. 

If it gives me great anxiety, I won't do it.

If my boys hadn't put up the Christmas tree and decorate it, it would not be up. (I even  discovered garland mysteriously draped across the back picket fence.)

We do not have an Advent wreath because I failed to buy candles. We are using the candles that were already on the mantel shelf.

We are not doing the Jesse tree this year.

I missed the start of the St. Andrew Novena.

Christmas cards are not ordered; I don't even have pictures taken yet.

There were no chocolate gold coins or oranges in shoes for St. Nicholas day.

And we have five days to start Jesus' birthday cake or that's not happening either.

And you know what? It's okay.

Christmas isn't all about the things -- and sometimes we lose that tiny Babe in all the things that go along with the holidays.