So Far This Winter....

...Gavin turned 8! We generally don't do a lot for birthdays, but the birthday boy gets to pick his birthday cake and birthday meal. This year Gavin wanted a chocolate and strawberry layer cake with chocolate frosting and cherries on top.

...Ian's vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds....unfortunately, his favorite consonant is "p". Therefore his newly learned (and often used) words consist of such things as:

Poup (soup)

Poo-pay (toothpaste)

Poo-puh (toothbrush)

You get the picture. His second favorite consonant is "b", though he mostly uses it in the words "Bubba", "bobo", and "baby" (who he knows is in Mama's belly). My quick yelling of "BABY!" has saved little sister from being pounced on in utero on more than a few occasions. Ian will be 3 in one month.

...A week ago we had Eli's work Christmas party. I'm the kind of person who would rather stay in the comfort of my own nest...especially in winter...and even more especially when I'm pregnant. I don't like crowds or a lot of attention. But I went. Eli, true to form, wore his "ugly Christmas sweater"...that had flashing LED lights all over it. It's hard to stay incognito when you have a walking Christmas tree next to you! The theme of the night was "horse racing" and we got to bet on races to have our names drawn for prizes. They also gave out other bigger prizes all night long. I rarely win anything, but this year I won an Amazon gift card. Eli won, to my excitement, a Nespresso Vertuoline espresso/cappuccino/latte maker with an aeroccino mug to heat and whip milk! It's exciting enjoying a "fancy" coffee without having to leave the house! Now I just need to reorder the decaf coffee pods....

...It finally snowed enough for Eli to use the snowblower I got him for Christmas! He was excited and thoroughly enjoyed it. I think he wished for a larger driveway for the first time in his life.

...We've also discovered that it takes an incredible amount of  LP gas to heat this house in the winter. We have a 500 gallon tank and need to have it refilled monthly. Because of this we're debating whether to spend a very large amount of money on insulating the whole house, or to put in a new energy efficient furnace and AC unit, along with taking down the chimney and patching the roof where it was. I think the new furnace option is going to win the debate. This means that the cosmetic things we want to replace inside the house will stay on the back burner for a while longer. Meanwhile...it can get cold in here.

...Winter is hard. I get it. But I've been giving Eli some grief lately for his new hobby. He has started feeding the squirrels. Yes, every other member of my family has waged war against the pesky rodents, and I'm sure my dear Grandpa, God rest his soul, would be appalled. I think the inspiration struck when we moved here and noticed a unique squirrel frequenting the area. He is normal "squirrel colored" on his back and tail, but his belly and face look like he went down a slip 'n' slide full of black oil. We started calling him Blackie. Our neighbor, Bill, feeds the squirrels, so Eli decided to fashion an eating platform out of scrap wood with nails in it to hold ears of corn, similar to Bill's. This was a huge hit in squirrel town. Then Eli made a special trip to town to buy more squirrel food. And THEN he upped his game by throwing his own snacks, salted peanuts in the shell, all over the tree stumps by the squirrel feeder. I was getting a bit concerned at this point (I may need to hide the peanut butter, you know?) but thinking there's still a chance that this is just a normal hobby, when he went crazy yelling and waving at blue jays for stealing the squirrels' peanuts. Blue jays. Hmmm.

This is the best photo I could get of Blackie (on the right). I tried to open the window to get a good photo of the feeder, but it scared away the squirrels...and angered the natives.

...A couple nights ago Gavin took Mojo out one last time before bed. When he came back inside he was shaking and out of breath. He said he had heard an animal snuffling around the back of the garage, and when he looked he saw a raccoon coming at him. "I knew because he had a mask and everything!" He ran inside, dragging the dog with him. The next morning there was a dead raccoon in our yard. I called the DNR, hoping they would want to come pick it up and test it for disease. I'm waiting to hear back. I'm so happy Gavin knew what to do! It's always good to explain to your children what to do if they encounter a strange-acting animal.

...Aidan (9) and Gavin have started training to be altar boys. They are so excited about it! The brothers that accompany Father from the Holy Angels Brothers Novitiate (formerly St. Thomas Aquinas Seminary) have been working with them. At home we practice what they learned from the brothers, and the Latin responses for Low Mass. Because of this we have moved on up in church, from the back pew to within four or so pews from the front. I can't quite describe the loss of comfort at leaving our "home" pew. I know it's for the best, but there's a sense of peace knowing that no one is staring at you from the back, and many many less people are witnessing the not-so-church-like behavior of some young men back there. Just last Sunday Ian decided to sprint down the pew before Eli or I could grab him, lean over the back of it and say, "Hi, Bobo!" to a little girl behind us. After Mass while we were collecting our things he sneaked under two pews, ending up trapped between older ladies with no where to go. Thankfully our parishioners are very kind and understanding.

...The boys have been busy making and building things with the sets they got for Christmas. A couple favorites are K'nex and Legos. Aidan also got a crystal growing set that makes lovely crystals.

...And boxes are being repurposed into robots! Unfortunately, one of them had some styrofoam left in it that Ian found before I did.

...Tomorrow we start week 20 of school! Only 16 more to go....oofda. Liam has been working extra hard on his alphabet, and can sound out some simple words now.

...And finally, only 12 weeks and 4 days left until we get to meet this baby girl!

Rose Chair Redo

This old chair has been with me for so many years it's amazing it's still in one piece. It definitely predates my children. It was another $5 find at a local thrift store, and I bought it simply because I fell in love with the rose carved into the back of it.

Last summer I decided the old girl needed a makeover. As you can see, the upholstery was threadbare and the finish scored with scratches.

I started by removing the seat and prying the old fabric from it. I found that it had been recovered before!

Talk about peeling back the years. I wish I knew what year the chair dated from. There was no date stamped anywhere on the chair.

The original layer of fabric was tacked down with these tiny little nails, which resemble the type of nails that we're used to tack our current upstiars carpet down. And we're guessing the carpet dates from the 1930's or 40's.

I bought duck cloth from Wal-Mart to recover the seat and stapled it in place with my handy dandy staple gun.

And then I tackled the frame by sanding and staining. I managed to get one coat of polyeurythane on the chair before we moved. In the craziness that followed, the frame ended up in one place and the seat cushion in another. It wasn't until November that I applied the second coat of poly (with an appropriate face mask) and reattached the seat. I'm so happy with the way it turned out! You can actually see the wood grain in the frame again. It's fun giving tired furniture new life.

Thinking Pink

By now most of the world probably already knows, but I wanted to share the news in this little corner of my world as well.

We had our 20 week ultrasound for Baby #5 on December 12th, the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. A friend told me it was a sign: Our Lady left roses for Juan Diego and was sure she would send us a rose as well. I was so worried that we'd get bad news I could think of little else. I had not yet felt the baby move...at least no movement I could tell was baby.

As we sat in the lobby at the local hospital they made the announcement that it was the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. While the hospital is no longer a Catholic one, it made me happy to know that some of it's Catholic roots remained.

Mercifully, we only had to wait about five minutes in the lobby. Relief flooded through me when I saw the image appear on the screen, and I saw an arm move up to baby's face. Baby was sucking or chewing on its fist! The technician was great about telling me as she checked each tiny part of baby's anatomy that all looked great. Baby is healthy and developing normally! She also told us what everyone else was dying to hear: IT'S A GIRL! We were sent a rose! As I lay there on the table I felt our daughter move, and knew exactly what it was. I have a strong suspicion that I had such a mental block of anxiety I couldn't let myself believe that it was really her moving.

The only concern the ultrasound revealed was the position of things in relation to the previous C-section scarring. Because of this I am transferring to a larger, high-risk hospital an hour away for the rest of my appointments, where I will have an MRI in the next couple months. (Also, my doctor is now on mission in Guatemala with her family for the next four months, so this was coming anyway.) My anxiety about this has faded as I continue to pray for a safe delivery for our baby girl and myself, and trust in God to carry us through.

We have had a name for a girl picked out ever since expecting our first baby, but we changed it about three years ago after I spent a month studying our family tree on Ancestry.com. I discovered that Eli's late grandma Berst, who died of cancer in 1962 at the age of 43, was named Adeline Marie. It was such a pretty name, and considering Eli had been trying to talk me into naming a boy "Clarence, Cal for short" (his grandpa) for so long, I thought he would appreciate it. (By the way, I cannot hear the name "Clarence" without thinking of the movie "It's a Wonderful Life".)

Adeline Marie with Eli's dad, Joe, as a baby. The story I've been told is that Adeline gave birth to baby Joseph in a room above the bar that she and Clarence owned.

The boys were excited for the news. Ian points to my belly and says, "A baby?" (which sounds more like "bebe") then shakes his head, points to himself and says, "A la Bubba." (Maybe he speaks French and I just haven't realized it until now?) Liam gagged. He's anti-girl everything at the moment, but I'm sure he'll have a change of heart eventually. Gavin kept asking when was she going to get here? That long?! And Aidan was wondering if she could share his room with him, but we explained that when she is old enough she will move into the spare room Dad uses for sleeping while on overnights. Which at the moment looks like this:

Which means I have a lot of work to do downsizing what we store, and shelves need to be put up in the attic room so we can transfer the rest of the totes in there. There is a dresser and an armoire in the garage that I also need to paint (white) and fit in little girl's room...preferably sooner than later, but we'll see how that goes.

I found a set of sheets for the bed already that are not manly like everything else:

I'm so excited to decorate a room NOT in blue and red or orange for a change! Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to get the boys rooms decorated too. But I've been deprived of girliness for much of my life and I feel the possibility of going a little crazy on this. Knowing she will be a daughter of mine, she will probably prefer her brothers' rooms to her own. And so then I will move into her room. 😊 These are some ideas I've saved on Pinterest:
           


And the clothes.... I've started girl clothes collecting! The first thing we received was a cute little pink and white fluffy dress from a sweet friend. And then our sister-in-law gave us a layette set and a sleeper for Christmas. And then I hit an online clearance sale. I got her "coming home" outfit, which is a gray and pink flowered sleeper. I am being careful though, knowing that mistakes have been made in the past, so I am keeping the baby boy clothes until she is born. Just in case. But if my husband knew of all the online shopping carts I've filled and just never clicked "Submit Order", he'd be scared.

16 weeks to go!

The First Post of 2017

Oh, how I've missed writing. If I have a New Year's resolution this year it is to spend more time doing fulfilling things: making things with the boys, reading, writing, exploring. Though, I'm sure every new year begins with similar aspirations, and somehow I end up bidding each old year adieu in a state of defeated, disillusioned, fatigue of sorts.

I did less than half of what I did for Christmas last year, and yet it was still exhausting. Maybe I'm just getting old. I'm pretty sure I'm falling apart. My carpal tunnel has not gotten any better since Thanksgiving, and I may have actually caused nerve damage this time. I will need to have surgery after this baby is born. Even sleeping is a challenge with the pains running down my arms and hands, leading me to believe there's more than just carpal tunnel at play. I've also had mysterious shooting pains running from my lower back down my leg and muscle spasms in my lower back. Spring can't come soon enough for so many reasons.

I let things go yesterday (a Saturday), when I usually spend all day cleaning, organizing, and straightening for a restful Sunday and a better start to Monday. I was just tired, and couldn't bring myself to start the marathon. I picked up a book I had been wanting to read for three weeks. In three weeks' time I hadn't even found a moment to flip it open to read the dust jacket. That was a sad realization, and probably the biggest cause for my homemaking strike. So I settled down on the reading couch in the school room with a blanket, plopped my legs up on the piles of school books still littering the coffee table, and got lost in a book for once. I had the entire thing read before I went to bed last night.

The book was "The Magnolia Story", which tells the history behind Chip and Joanna Gaines' marriage, real estate and home renovation and design companies, and hit TV show. For the last two years I've kept up with their show "Fixer Upper" (first on HGTV and then on Amazon video). It has become a happy place for me, and the book had me crying by page 27 (not that hard of a task lately). Chip Gaines is hilarious, and the book is written like they both speak. You never know what odd thing is going to come out of Chip's mouth. I feel Joanna is a kindred spirit, being an introvert like myself, and often flabbergasted at her husband's antics. I dream of starting my own home decor/craft shop someday; she just made her dream happen much sooner and in a much bigger way than I would ever be comfortable with. The Magnolia website includes their shop, Joanna's blog, and more.

Homeschooling has been an increasing challenge this school year, and getting everything done some weeks is close to a miracle. Attitudes are flaring, concentration is at an all-time low, and we're all bouncing off the walls--some literally, like Ian and Liam, while I just participate in my mind. I keep thinking there has to be a change, something has to change, we can't keep going like this.

Too many times I pick the quick, easy way to entertain the boys in the afternoon or evening: stick in a movie so they'll be quiet or settle down so I can get something else done. How many times do I tell them "Wait until I'm done with this" or "It's too late, I'm tired, maybe tomorrow" when they want to do something with me? Half of Aidan's life at home is over already; has it been full of wholesome things? It seems like every day I'm reminded of something we have not gotten done. I'm seriously wondering if we completely gave up TV and videos, would we find more time? Would behavior be better? Could I get my husband to agree to a TV-free trial run? There's no end to the things I can pick myself apart about.

It was refreshing to read in "The Magnolia Story" that Joanna felt the same way, despite having gorgeous houses, and a supportive husband. She mentions that people mostly only share the pretty pictures of their homes, the amazing accomplishments, leaving many people feeling that they can never do enough, that they are inadequate. And yet, you do not see pictures of her messes either! In the Gaines' 12 years of marriage they have never had a TV, and they found a closer bond in their family and more quality time. What it boiled down to for her, and ultimately does for most people, is that you have to flip a switch in your mind. Looking at things from a different point of view can make all the difference most times. For her, the realization was that her four children had to feel as at home in their "designer" homes as she did. She resolved to stop yelling when they spilled things or got dirty fingerprints on her clean slipcovers. Not only that, but instead of running to wash everything and pick it all up right away, she would spend more time playing with them. I remember reading the story of a saint whose mother often joined in on the boisterous games her children played.

I'm trying, though it feels like it's a losing battle. I was embarrassed to wake up this morning to find my husband's supervisor had stopped by after work (Eli has been on his week of overnights, which is like a week of single-parenting for me). I barely escaped to another room to avoid being seen with hair sticking out every which way, furtively surveying the chaos that was our home. Why hadn't I taken the time yesterday to clean? I could have at least put the folded laundry away! Why hadn't I made Aidan and Gavin do the dishes, which is their chore every evening? What does my house say about me? Do people think I'm lazy? Mothers of children, especially small children, know that a home can go from tidy to trashed in less than an hour. And despite the promptings, the "training" to clean and organize I've put the boys through, they cannot seem to see the messes I see.

Then, THEN I find out that my husband was made fun of at work because his work shirt was wrinkled, and all the good "I-actually-took-a-break-and-read-a-book" feelings were gone. Is it pride that makes me feel that way? It embarrassed me, because of course it's my job to take care of the laundry around here. I also felt very defensive about it. "Does he know this and that? Doesn't he understand this or that? WHO has time to iron cotton workshirts that end up plastered in corn mash and grease by the end of the night?" Of course, all the excuses end in the ultimate answer: my life is built of choices I've made and circumstances God has allowed. Who am I to complain? I know most mothers struggle with housework at least occasionally. Do I have unreal expectations about the condition the house should be in? I know that a lot of mothers with "more than the standard" number of children feel less and less free to talk about the struggles of everyday life because somehow their decision to have or allow a large family takes away their right to struggle. And voicing these struggles gives fuel to the people out there who think it's irresponsible to have so many children. What is going on, people?

So, for your viewing pleasure, here is the state of the house in which we welcomed the new year. I wanted to take a picture when it was all decorated and nice for fall, but I never made time for that blog post. So now when I've made time...this is what I get.

Ian decided to shuffle around the house last night with a cup on his head (that most likely recently held orange juice or milk) while his brothers chanted, "Hail King of the Cups!" The vacuum sits in the corner like a sad monument to good intentions gone bad.

The dining room table...somewhere under all that.

The living room, where blankets and pillows belong on the floor and random bits of paper prove that occasionally we attempt scholarly pursuits...or handmade confetti.

The wagon Ian got for Christmas is our new linen closet. Both punching balloons Liam got for Christmas are popped: this one lost its weight at the bottom.

The kitchen mess. Were memories made in the process? Well, I decided to have the boys do dishes an hour after this photo was taken, and an avalanche of clean dishes ensued. I spent the next hour scrubbing the shattered remains of a Pyrex bowl from every inch of the floor.

The school room. We need a bigger coffee table.

 

And then Ian ate lunch. There was tomato sauce splattered in a 5 foot radius all around him. Those dark spots on the rug? Sauce.

Have I mentioned that we're potty training here again? Its one of my favorite past times. Little guy was so kind and tried to clean up his accident with a kitchen washcloth before he ran to tell me (or grunt and point) at what happened. 

And last but not least, Gavin and Liam's room. It doesn't help it doubles as the play room, but...yikes. I know what we're doing tomorrow.

On a happier note, this is Aidan and Ian's room. I hope we will be able to afford new carpet upstairs this year, but until then we're dealing with the ugliness of the floor.

Sometimes all I can think about is how far south I can drive with the gas that's in the tank, and will it get me someplace warm where I can stand in the sun and soak up enough rays to get me through the next four months?