Another Closed Door

"When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."

Imagine yourself in this hallway. You need to get out. You've paced up and down this hallway for years. Years. It makes you feel like you're suffocating, and every door is locked. You keep trying doors over and over, but they stay locked. You see the side hallways, with the light pouring through? They were once locked doors, but upon opening only led to more hallways with more locked doors. Not even a window to break through. This is our life, or feels very much like it. Amid the overwhelming feelings of frustration and disappointment, you hear a faint voice. Look up, it says. In the ceiling above you, in the last place you'd ever think to look, is a trap door. That must be the way out. But you can't reach the door, and there is nothing to climb to get to it. You just know you have to keep looking up, at some point the trap door will open and Someone will lower a ladder.

Some day we will see the reason behind all the disappointments in life. People go through so much worse than we have. But at the moment it feels as though God has His thumb on the PAUSE button of our life.

Late last week Eli was notified that he was being laid off again. This is the second time this year from the same company. The first lay-off came days after putting an offer on an acreage. It obviously never went through, and within a couple months Eli was called back to the same job. This second lay-off news comes mid-negotiations on a different house. We just received the appraisal report back this morning. Some painting needed to be done to the house and a porch railing secured, and we were home free. This afternoon brought the news that the bank denied our mortgage on hearing of Eli's impending lay-off. So funny because we would have been paying $50 less a month on the mortgage than what we currently do in rent. The mortgage application fee cannot be refunded now because the appraisal was completed. If we end up having to walk away from this house we will be out $875.

There's a reason for this. Something better is coming. The time isn't right yet. Maybe there's another way around this? Was this just a curve ball, and we're being tested to see how we react to it? The lay-off is supposed to be temporary. Ok, good news! Calm down! I emailed the seller to see what our options are...if there is another way. If Eli is called back to work in a month or so there's a chance the house would still be on the market, and we'd just need to reapply for the mortgage. However, if he finds a job in a different line of work (i.e. not machining/manufacturing) the bank wants to see at least two years at a new job before approving a mortgage. Two years longer....

As for the boxes I started packing....well, I needed to do some redecorating anyway. And the walls here are never really going to be our walls. Might as well start spackling holes.