Long before I was married I knew I wanted Christmas to be different for my children. Of course I loved Christmas, and the suspense it offered every year. Would Santa bring what I asked for? How many presents would there be for me under the tree? Every year that deflated feeling crept up on me after the last present was opened, no matter how great all my gifts were. And then I learned Santa wasn't real, which bombed Christmas completely for me that year. I was devastated, and carried on so selfishly that I ruined it for my younger brother. He lost Santa the same year I did. Christmas had become Selfmas for me.
St. Nicholas of Myra
As I got older, attending a Traditional Latin Midnight Mass at the seminary became my favorite gift. (That and the butter cookies we'd snack on in the wee hours after we got home.) There was a seminarian at the time who played the violin, and we'd sit for a while after Mass listening to the soul-moving strains of Silent Night filling the candle-lit chapel. It was so beautiful, I never wanted it to end. When Dad would get up from the pew, anticipating the long drive home, I'd linger as long as possible before reluctantly following. I knew that somehow, if I was ever blessed with children, this beauty and love of God is what I wanted Christmas to be for them. Eliminating Santa Claus on Christmas, and moving St. Nicholas back to his own feast day on December 6, seemed like a great place to start.
I came across an article one year in my Dad's newspaper, The Remnant, that described exactly what I had in mind. Amazingly,
I recently found it online, here. It explained the old tradition of
Christkind, which in every way was what Christmas was meant to be: a feast in honor of the Birthday of Christ. It was everything
I wanted Christmas to be. I resolved to make Christmas this way for my children.
And as it goes with life, good resolutions are rarely held up with the determination they are made with. Eli was all on board not having Santa bring Christmas gifts, but the tree had to go up before Christmas. That little detail of the Christkind tradition has been fudged by us, but there is still plenty of anticipation for the boys to see if the Christ Child will come Christmas morning.
Our tree looks about the same every year; the boys decorate it now, and this year chose disco-worthy multi multi-colored (did I mention multi?) lights that require sunglasses in order to gaze upon it. Our tree is artificial, a used $10 find. And I was the first one to knock it over this year. :)
Despite my best efforts, the stockings that are supposed to be for the feast of St. Nicholas are never ready that early, and are given here on Christmas Eve instead. Each stocking always includes a movie to watch that night, a packet of hot cocoa and a little bag of caramel corn to enjoy during the movie, and a new ornament to hang on the tree. Some year when they leave home the boys will have at least 18 ornaments a piece to take with them. (And soon we may need a larger tree.) This year the stocking movies are favorites from my childhood, plus a new one that will hopefully become a favorite.
We set up an Advent wreath every year, though it has been different almost every year.
This year it's in a tray with the Baby Jesus' manger and some pine needles. The manger is empty, awaiting the birth of our Savior. The Baby Jesus is also absent from the Nativity scenes, as are the Magi, who appear on Epiphany, January 6.
We don't have an Advent calendar yet, but we do a Christmas countdown in a different way every year. One year we did the green and red paper chain (tearing a link off each day); another year I made a batch of the Amish Friendship bread starter that requires fermenting for a certain amount of days, daily stirring and adding ingredients, symbolizing the preparation of our souls for Christ's birth. The bread was ready to bake on Christmas Eve, and earned the title of "Jesus' Birthday Cake".
Stirring the friendship bread starter.
Last year we put candy canes on the tree for each day left until Christmas and the boys got to take turns picking one off (and eating it) each day.
Candy cane countdown.
Recently a bag of "cherry bomb" water balloons mysteriously ended up in our cart, through the checkout, and in a bag before I even saw them. I decided they would make a great countdown this year. The boys are having so much fun with this one, taking turns popping a balloon each day. The little boy who is too skittish to actually pop the balloon gets to cut it off the ribbon and play with it.
Each Advent the boys try to offer to God as many sacrifices (hardships, or not taking a treat for themselves, giving to others, helping, etc.) as possible, and for each "good deed" they put a "straw" in the manger to make a soft bed for Jesus to lay on, in the form of strips of fabric. Bad behavior gets "straws" taken out of the manger, and they know if Jesus doesn't find a nice soft bed here He may not stay.
Up until this year this was our manger (homemade with sticks and cord), and our Baby Jesus (whose vintage doll head came from a bag of thrift store craft supplies when I was in high school; I sewed a body for it).
This year one of the boys' "needs" gifts is this new infant Jesus and manger. I found it on sale here at Mother of Our Savior Company. I wanted to make a different manger that would better hold the boys' straws but I haven't had the time yet.
Christmas morning the boys rush to look in the manger (I'm always a bit surprised they always run there first to look for Jesus) before running to check for gifts under the tree. One year they asked what happened if they were naughty, and I said they may get rocks as gifts. To prove I wasn't joking I wrapped up a box of rocks for each boy and had them open that gift first. My "lesson" backfired on me when Gavin exclaimed with glee, "WOW! I got rocks!" and joyfully loaded them into the bed of the Tonka dump truck he had just gotten from Grandma and Grandpa. He thought they were accessories. And how I love that boy!
As our family grew, so did the gift-giving. I found myself the Christmas of 2010 counting gifts, wondering if it was enough and wishing we could do more despite the pile under the tree. I was a new stay-at-home mama and we were trying to adjust to living on one income. Shortly after this I came across a blog post about the three gifts that the Christ Child received from the Magi for His birthday: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Why did we need more? And why hadn't I thought of this before? We now give each of our children three Christmas gifts: a want, a need, and a book. We thankfully started this tradition early enough that the boys weren't shocked by the change. We also no longer buy normal "toys" for the older boys' "want" gifts, but have been giving building sets instead. They get so much more use and can be added to later. And this year Aidan will get a really special "want": God willing, he'll be attending a boys' summer camp hosted by our priests next year.
Our gifts for others this year are mostly handmade, which I've been working on a separate post about. And for this reason some of the other Christmas preparations I've been mulling over will have to wait for next year, including having enough items in my Etsy shop to open in time for Christmas shopping! Definitely not happening this year. I need to start things much earlier next year. Like in January. There are only so many hours in the day.
Eli has Christmas day off this year, and we have both his and my family celebrations that day. It'll be a change having that part all over with in one day.
I hope to do a little baking before Christmas yet if time and other duties allow, but that pretty much sums up our Christmases.
May God bless you during this joyous season!
For an Advent story we've been reading from "Charlie and Noel: an Advent Calendar Story." The boys said we needed to get a "Noel" stuffed donkey like the one in the story; today a friend from church had St. Nicholas bags for all the kids and guess what was in Ian's!
Our nativity scenes are up and also awaiting the Baby Jesus! The colored set lost some paint in the flood, but it'll do for now. Poor St. Joseph and the ox have bald spots.
