Tim Hawkins Comes to Iowa

The year was 2009. I was up late soothing a crabby baby, channel surfing to pass the time between bursts of crying. I came across a stand-up act and decided to watch a little. Most comedians can be disgusting and I'd rather watch nothing at all, but I was hoping for a laugh to make the night not feel so long. A few minutes into the comedian's skit I was hooked. He joked about homeschooling and parenting...about real life things I could relate to. I have to remember this guy's name so I can look him up on Youtube, I thought. I grabbed the book I had been reading and scribbled on the inside of the cover: Tim Hawkins.

Fast forward to early this year. I was chatting with a friend (another Julie) about how much we both liked Tim Hawkins, and it was on my bucket list to go see him. Eli and I had gone to a comedy club in Colorado Springs on our honeymoon; it was about time we saw another comedy act. On a whim I decided to look up his tour schedule. "He's coming to Iowa November 22!" I told Julie. We should totally go see him!"

Julie took the wheel and started organizing a group of people she thought would enjoy his show so we could get a group discount on tickets. The idea fell to the wayside as the months flew by, until November rolled around and Julie thankfully remembered it again. Eli had a completely different schedule by this time, and was no longer able to go. I asked his Mom if she would babysit, which she agreed to, and I asked my Mom to go with me.

Sunday was hectic, with time very short to get where we needed to be. After Mass the boys and I raced home so they could change, drop them and some food off at Grandma's, and then I rushed to pick up Mom. I'm not very familiar with driving in Cedar Rapids, and I always end up getting turned around--which happened, of course. Why would you have two highways with the same number in two completely different locations?! I turned down business 151, which was several miles yet from the outside-of-town-151 that the mega-church was on. A quick Google search brought light to my blunder and I whipped the van around with little more than 15 minutes to make it there before the show. Mom kept saying, "It's ok! I don't mind if we're a little late!"

We made it to the church by 2:50 pm. Ten minutes to spare! Thankfully another kind friend who was going to be there saved seats for Mom and me, because somehow I'm always a day late and a dollar short! My printer died last week and Julie had printed off our tickets--but we couldn't find her. After walking up and down the lobby several times I decided to just show my E-tickets to a lady who told me we could go right in. Phew, that was easy! 

Not so fast. We were stopped at the door by another guy wanting to see tickets. By then I had closed out the E-tickets on my phone and I couldn't get reception in the metal building for them to load again. I ran out into the parking lot like a ninny waving my phone around for a signal. Someone graciously came out to get me, saying they could just look up our ticket order instead. Sheesh.

Mom and I sat down mere minutes before Tim came out on stage. We had really good seats, about eight rows from the stage. Laughter was the medicine we needed, especially by that point. I recorded several parts of his act, which I uploaded to Youtube for easier sharing.

Tim Hawkins

Tim on a Segway

Caution: in case you look him up on Youtube, some of his jokes have elements of "potty humor" including grabbing his seat, mild name calling or picking fun at audience members (what you get for paying for premium seating), and mildly suggestive content for those who don't care to see it, or who have little people around. The clips I added here I've edited so they're fairly clean.

This clip is 3:02 minutes long, and is Tim talking about his wife's driving and going through the Taco Bell drive-thru.

This clip (7:46) is a mix of things...laughing, generic brand groceries, strange song lyrics....

This video is another favorite from Youtube.

After the show Mom and I still couldn't find Julie, so we headed to Granite City Brewery for supper. This diet has me craving thick juicy burgers smothered in cheese and bacon, and Granite City did not disappoint. We each ordered a "Bennie" beer, which I definitely recommend. Mom ordered the Bedda Chedda Bacon burger with a side of loaded mashed potatoes. I got the "Big Show" burger (the most expensive burger I have ever ordered, by far). I could only eat half, but it was the best burger I have ever tasted. I ordered another to take home for Eli as a peace offering.

"Are you taking a selfie?" Which is why I got such a nice smile out of this lady who hates pictures taken of herself. :)

The "Bennie"

Big Show burger and loaded mashed potatoes...

Even though I could only eat half the burger and potatoes there, I took the rest home--and couldn't stop thinking about it. I devoured the rest at 10:30 that night, and was +4 lbs. the next morning. Yikes.

My phone began working again after we left the metal box of a church, and I started getting messages I hadn't received earlier. I was able to get in touch with Julie, and she joined us at Granite City for a burger. It was a lovely couple hours of catching up and more laughs before we headed home.

As guilty as I felt in leaving the boys, in Eli not being able to go, and in the money that was spent, looking forward to that day propelled me through the month of November, which is usually one of the worst for me. Both babies I lost were due in November. I'm hoping that random outings this winter will effectively keep the blues away until the world turns green again. A laugh here and there never hurts, either.