Our Advent and Christmas Traditions

It's been a couple years since I wrote about our Advent traditions. Although we're nearly at the end here, I wanted to share what we do to prepare our hearts and home for the birth of Our Lord. We are *finally* settled down here enough that we are back in stride with the things that make this season feel truly like the special preparation period it is meant to be.

First and probably most obvious is the advent wreath. Despite clutter and the struggle to get other Advent decorations up, it's the first thing to be set up after Thanksgiving. It has changed a lot in the last several years, depending on what type of purple and pink candles I could find. Originally it was just little votive candles nestled in a grapevine wreath. Traditionally they are ringed in evergreen to represent the eternity of God. Last year I found a metal advent wreath in a thrift store for taper candles, but could only find white candles. So I taped pink and purple ribbon around the candles, which we are doing again this year. The color purple is symbolic of penance, and waiting, while pink (for the 3rd Sunday, Gaudete Sunday) represents the shift to the season of rejoicing. The Savior is almost here! The colors also mirror the vestments worn for the Sundays' Masses. Taper candles burn up incredibly fast, so we only light the candles for a short time on each Sunday during our special prayers. I'm looking for a pillar candle Advent wreath for future years so we can make the wreath lighting more of a special time. I would also love to use real beeswax candles, but they are super expensive and we do what we can.

On the first Sunday of Advent we begin the St. Andrew Christmas Novena. It's a prayer that's said for a particular intention 15 times a day.

Also on the first Sunday of Advent we start our Jesse tree. It is called a "Jesse tree" because of the description of Christ from the Book of Isaias: "And there shall come forth a rod out of the root of Jesse, and a flower shall rise up out of his root." Jesse was the father of the great King David and many times great grandfather of Jesus. The Jesse tree tells the biblical stories of Our Lord's ancestors daily up until Christmas day. We started our Jesse tree tradition a couple years ago using the Jesse Tree DVD from Holy Heroes, but setting up your own can be super simple with a small tree or even a branch, or a paper or felt tree you stick to the wall. A quick Google search will tell you the stories to read for each day and where to find them in the Bible. The ornaments, simply decorated with a symbolic image from the story of the day, become the countdown for Christ's birth as each day we hear again the beloved stories of creation, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to St. John the Baptist. On December 17th, for the last week of Advent, we start the O Antiphons, hymns from the Old Testament which are sung at Vespers, praying for the coming of the Messiah. The song "O come, o come Emmanuel" is a lyrical paraphrase of the O Antiphons. In years past we used paper ornaments but this year I made wood slice ornaments that are prettier and much more durable.

The Jesse Tree Ornaments are our countdown to Christmas.

I try to have the house decorated by the end of the first week of Advent including having the Christmas tree up. I know many Traditional families try to wait until Christmas Eve to get their decorations and tree up since the true Christmas season doesn't begin until Christmas, but I'd never get done if I waited. It really doesn't feel like Advent either without the trimmings. We do leave it all up until after Epiphany January 6th (when the three Wise Men found Christ), and the Nativity scene until Candlemas February 2 (the commemoration of the presentation of Christ in the temple). February 2 is the traditional end of the Christmas/Epiphany season.

Besides the tree, the nativity scenes are set up as they might have been at this time 2000+ years ago: inhabited by animals, possibly a shepherd tending his sheep, but no Magi, and no Mary, Joseph, or Baby Jesus. Mary and Joseph and trusty donkey are placed outside the stable, still journeying.

Also journeying are the three Kings, following a star. (They are currently passing the microwave in our kitchen.)

Baby Jesus is hidden away safely until He appears Christmas morning. His manger(s) await. Several years ago I began a tradition with the boys to help them prepare their hearts for Christ, which is what Advent is for, after all. As adults we can all benefit from visual cues at times, and children even more so. I made a manger out of sticks and encouraged them to earn "soft things" for Jesus's bed by acts of kindness and sacrifices. They lay strips of fleece in the manger anytime they do good. Christ, Who gives all things, is the one Who brings our Christmas gifts, not Santa. And He will not bring gifts to children who leave His bed hard and cold. Misbehavior results in strips taken out. Oh the terror when Gaudete Sunday rolls around and the manger is in a sad state with one scraggly strip of fleece!

We've never gotten to Christmas with an empty manger, but one year when it could have been better the first gift the boys opened at home was a box of rocks. Aidan cried, but dear incorrigable Gavin was so excited, he dumped that box of rocks in the back of the shiny new Tonka truck Grandma and Grandpa had given him and took off like he won the lottery. That boy. ❤

The Feasts We Celebrate During Advent

December 6 is the Feast of St. Nicholas...another reason Santa Claus doesn't visit us on Christmas. St. Nicholas' day is much earlier in the season, and Christmas is for Christ. The night before, the boys set out their shoes and find the next morning they've been filled with gold chocolate coins. We also read "The Legend of St. Nicholas" and watch the the cartoon, Nicholas: The Boy Who Became Santa.

December 8 is the feast of the Immaculate Conception. Since it's a Holyday of Obligation for U.S. Catholics, we attend Mass when we can. We read the Epistle and Gospel from the Mass of the day and have a special treat later. This year we had friends over for supper and they treated us with donuts!

The Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, patroness of the Americas, also falls during Advent (December 12), and is a feast we love to celebrate.

This day is so special for many reasons, but one notable reason for us is that on this day two years ago we found out that Our Lady of the Roses had sent us a little rose: we were expecting our first baby girl! (Those familiar with this apparition will remember that Our Lady filled Juan Diego's tilma with out-of-season roses and a miraculous image of herself to convince the Bishop she was real.) My previous pregnancy had ended with a miscarriage, and I suffered severe anxiety during this pregnancy, marked by terrifying episodes of bleeding that we learned were caused by partial placenta previa. Our Blessed Mother obtained for me comfort and peace during this difficult time.

Our Lady of Guadalupe became Adeline's special patroness. An image of her overlooks her bed, and she even has her own Our Lady of Guadalupe Shining Light doll. We celebrate by having Mexican food on this day and watching the Juan Diego cartoon.

There are so many other feast days and traditions I would love to do or elaborate on, but this space is all about reality. And the reality is that some days we're doing good if we simply remember what the date is amidst the busyness. We do what we can, and continue to marvel at those who set the bar so high. In my earlier days as mama I used to drive myself crazy about all the things I didn't. And you know what? Pushing and stressing myself to do those things just because others do them or because I thought they were amazing would not have made me a better mother, and most likely would not have made my children better people. "Simple" brings peace to our lives, and I'm all for that.

On December 14 we start Jesus' "birthday cake". While it's usually Amish Friendship Bread (ssshh! Don't tell the boys!) I chose it for Our Lord's "cake" because of the daily preparation the starter needs (like our souls during Advent), it's super sweet, cinnamony and delicious, and bread is so symbolic to our Faith. It is ready to bake December 24, with starter left over to share with friends. This year was a year we missed when it was the 14th, so there is no bowl of starter on the counter to share a photo of. Instead, I will bake an angel food cake on Christmas Eve.

We always take the whole week of Christmas off school, and sometimes we take two weeks off. We have a birthday boy a couple weeks after so it makes for a nice ending to the festivities.

Christmas Eve we read the Christmas story from the book of Luke and the kids get to open their stockings. One child gets a movie in his stocking that we watch that night (this year it's "Paul the Apostle" but in years past it's been "The Miracle of Marcelino", "The Reluctant Saint", "The Ten Commandments", etc. The others get audio books or music CD's, like "Advent at Ephesus". They all also get a snack to eat during the movie (this year its almonds, cashews, and Addie gets popcorn), a small toy, and a new ornament to hang on the tree. By the time they move out each should have at least 18 ornaments to take with them. With 5 kiddos we may have to start decorating the back of the tree..... This year I'm making new stockings for each child. I still have three to go!

Christmas morning the first thing they do when they wake is to look for the Baby Jesus in the manger. If they see Him they run to the to peer under it. No one is allowed to touch a thing until Mom and Dad have gotten their coffee and found a seat. This is if we have afternoon Mass (which we do this year!) If we have to drive a ways for Mass we wait until we're back home to open gifts. After Mass is when we break out the Christmas goodies and whatever "splurge" Crockpot meal we decided on. It's not uncommon for us to have hot wings for Christmas!

Our gifts are modest. We don't have a lot, but what we do we try to make as meaningful as possible. Since the Christ Child received three gifts for His birthday (gold, frankincense, myrrh) we imitate that by giving three gifts to each child. 1) something they want, generally a toy or building set, 2) something they need, which has often been clothes, coats, gloves, shoes, and one extravagant year, new bikes, and 3) a book. Gifts are opened one at a time, each one taking turns. We try to avoid the flurry of ripped paper and the impatience of the "what do I get next" mentality. It's hard, I know they're just kids, but we're trying to instill in their hearts a spirit of thankfulness and moderation.

Christmas day is just for our family. We go to my parents' to celebrate Christmas when it works for all of us to get together sometime Christmas week, and also to Eli' sister's. Eli's work also has a Christmas party every year, but he will be working during it this year. We try to keep other get-togethers to a minimum during this time.

Those are our main traditions. As the kids grow they will most likely grow and change with them.

O Come Let Us Adore Him!

Insert Clever Title Here: A Mess of Real Life

I've never had such a difficult time naming a blog post. I finally decided to use all the titles I came up with at once, only to discover they wouldn't all fit in the space they leave you. So here you go, as an introduction to what you're about to read (or virtually run away from to preserve brain cells):

Train Wreck
Reality Check
Thoughts From the Crazy Train
Weirdness But Truth
What's Wrong With Me
Where Am I Going With This
My Scary Thoughts
Whatever
Confessional
Cynicisms
Hello Darkness
Hello Weirdness My Old Friend
I Don't Care (But I do)
What Should I Call You
Randomappenings
Living On the Edge
Like I Just Dont Care
Random Truths From the Rabbit Hole
This Was Supposed to be Short

You've been warned.

I've abandoned this space recently in the hopes of recharging my brain. One of the dangers of creating a series of posts (such as my "Scale day" posts) is that they become canned and kill the creative love I have for the written word. Perhaps you all (or you few?) have felt it too because readership has dwindled away like popsicles in the sun. I say I don't care...I don't care...because I would continue to write simply because I enjoy doing it, even if no one reads. I will admit I'm curious, though. This is one of those posts I might be thankful for a small readership of. I feel the crazy seeping out.

I turned to physical creativity instead. I accomplished a huge personal goal and opened my Etsy shop after seven years--SEVEN YEARS--of procrastinating. I made several batches of woodburned ornaments, and a few other things that people have shown interest in buying in the past. My hope was to make some money to help pay for Christmas for my own family. (I promise, this is not a gimmick to guilt anybody! To prove it I won't share my Etsy link here.) I didn't have a lot of things to sell, but I figured it is what it is and when they're gone they're gone. I'll make more when I have time. You see, I was laboring under the delusion that my handiwork would fly off the virtual shelf. Several weeks and one sale later, the time I thought I'd need to remake and restock my shop is being spent thinking I should probably get to putting away those piles of clean laundry and grading that homework. And then I wander around the house some more. But I will continue to make things because it's what I love to do, even if nothing sells. As time allows. Because there's not as much time when I'm busy wandering around aimlessly, thinking.

Way to turn around and slap me in the face with reality, life. *High five.

How much of our lives are spent pretending we're not feeling what we're actually feeling?

The season of darkness is upon us. Days will steadily get darker sooner until right before the birth of Our Lord. It's also the season of anticipation, which usually keeps me going. Instead of being excited, I go in stages of anxiety and overcaring, to not caring and not feeling anything. I can feel the icy fingers of depression crawling up my spine, while on the edge of a stress-induced fit of uncontrollable laughter. It makes me want to go a little crazy and do ridiculous things normal people would probably not even think of doing. I found myself in this odd place I like to call the eye of the storm recently and almost shared pictures of my trashed house. What the heck.

My dining room is in an uncomfortable state of limbo. The table is used to find (oh autocorrect, that was supposed to say fold, but I'm leaving it because find is also appropriate) laundry, do homework, and the centerpiece is for seasonal decor.

This is the best illustration there could be of my interior struggle to decide what the priority is: laundry or Christmas decorating. As you can tell, neither won. If Instagram was full of these real life photos, what would we do? Maybe some of us wouldn't try so hard.

I can't finish decorating the table because my mind has decided that it needs a lovely silver dollar eucalyptus garland woven around white candles on rustic wood slices. But I already made my Wal-Mart run for the month, and they don't sell eucalyptus anything. This is how I ended up with $80 of eucalyptus things in my Amazon cart at midnight. I'm so thankful my husband and I have separate Amazon accounts. He would probably have a heart attack at all the things that get added to my cart only to be "saved for later" when reality takes over.

And my husband came home from work last night with the kindness of heart to say, "I can see you had a productive day." He said it with sincerity, I thought, though that totally would have worked as a sarcastic comment.

I never breathed a word to him that I flirted with the idea of running to Shopko to get a few more Christmas decorations on their 60% off sale...and to our pharmacy that's all decked out in cute crafty farmhouse decor, therefore a place I've been forbidden to shop at unless the kids need medicine. For seven hours I contemplated it...making up my mind every hour that I was going to finally brave the roads despite the freezing rain and sleet and 35 mile an hour winds, until I'd go out to the garage and see the clean Suburban and clean(ish) garage floor and decide there was no way I could venture out without tracking pounds of frozen evidence back into the garage. And then I'd have to explain to my reasonable husband what the emergency was (briefly imagining a way to invent a trip to the ER....) that necessitated risking my life and that of my children in leaving the house. There was no way to hide "retail therapy" as the reason, and I could imagine no way that conversation could go well. So I stayed home and wandered around instead.

I've been told that aimlessly wandering is a form of sloth. I can see it as such sometimes, but other times I feel as though it's a tool that helps me work through piles of mental clutter. It's often more exhausting than many kinds of real work.

Also, I have decided that holiday decorating is a mental disorder, if not a disease. Well, probably a disease since diseases are contagious.

Another bad thing brought about by holiday decorating? Having to go up in the attic and get the Christmas tree down. I put my big girl pants on and did it myself this year. Despite dozens of pins I've saved on Pinterest of gorgeous attics done up as game rooms, boho chic spare rooms, and airy libraries with macrame swings, our attic remains gross, unliveable and a bit scary (unless you're a bat, which is why I will not even peek up there from March through October). I decided I was going to be on top of things this year and responsibly brought a new light bulb with me because I remembered its solitary lightbulb had burned out a year ago. It was worse than I remembered. The cage that graces the southern gable end of our attic seemed innocent in comparison (considering it was probably used to keep rodents out of drying food) to the scat that littered the floor. Bat droppings. In case you don't know, bat droppings are like rolled up capsules of dried chew spit. Which makes sense when you realize that they're basically crispy digested bug parts. (You're welcome.) This is my reality. And bats are on my list of most feared things, reasonable or not. I was prepared for some mess and thankfully had old shoes on. What I wasn't prepared for was the odd water drop stains all over the floor as if it has been raining up there, and the curling floorboards, and the mold growing on the roof where the chimney used to be. None of this was there two years ago when I was up there last, and I knew just a year ago Eli had cleaned up the bat droppings. This would explain why the plaster ceiling in Aidan's room is starting to warp. I took a video of my foray into the attic to show Eli and so I wouldnt have to go back up there to remind myself what it was like. After discussing, we determined that when we closed off the chimney a couple summers ago the attic no longer had enough air circulation. So our big project for next spring will no longer be the desired deck over the crumbling front steps, but having bats and mold removed from the attic and having it vented and insulated. Old houses are stinking awesome.

The icing on my day was, after disinfecting the Christmas tree box that we had thankfully wrapped in plastic, showering, and then setting up the tree, the top section of the prelit tree no longer lit up. After spending an hour replacing dead bulbs to no avail, I ripped all the cottonheaded ninnymugging lights off that section and bought a new string of lights at Wal-Mart. On my top 10 of worst jobs ever to have: Christmas tree light stringer. Also there: bat pest control.

I recently dropped a stick of deodorant in the bathroom. You know it's a tiny space when it turns into a game of Plinko before hitting the floor.

Today the mental loop I'm stuck in: there's a box of cheese breadsticks in the freezer. I cannot eat them because I haven't been eating great for the majority of the last three weeks. Oh, but I deserve them! No, why on earth would you deserve a food that is bad for you? Ok, but I really want them. What if that's the only thing I eat all day?But you'll eat the whole box and be hungry the rest of the time! No, Addie always eats half of anything I make. That leaves me with 3 breadsticks at the most. I'll fill up on carrots later. Really? Really. But we're having supper guests Saturday night and cheese breadsticks are part of the menu. Wouldn't it be nice if you didn't have to explain to hubby why this box disappeared? Grumbling: but we'll have to buy more anyway. *Sigh FINE!

My brain will seriously do this until hubby gets home.

I gave my little boy animal crackers for breakfast today because they have to be healthier than cereal. Right? And he was so incredibly happy. I said no at first. But today we need happy.

Another thing I said no to at first? One of my big boys playing out in the snow. It's actually a pretty stupid thing to say no to, but the snow is so soupy wet all I could see was the big mess coming back in my house. But this is the best snow to make snowmen out of, and it really is so pretty out. Let it go, mama. He has been outside playing happily now for 2 hours. Those are two hours he was not watching TV or bickering with his brothers. Happy.

My youngest son (4) insists that Santa is bringing his gifts. Now you can disagree with our parenting methods all you want, but my husband and I agreed before we had babies that Santa was deceptive and not the lind of tradition we want to pass on to our children. Instead we have a tradition much like the old Christkint or Christkindl tradition in which the gifts are from Christ. Despite reassurances from his brothers that, no, Santa was really St. Nicholas and is now dead, he still insists. I've decided not to get too involved and see how this plays out.

We went to my aunt and uncle's for one of three Thanksgiving celebrations this year. We meaning the kids and I, Eli was working again. My social anxiety was alive and well, despite personal reassurances that I was now one of the cool kids and wouldn't have to sweat small talk anymore. Only, when your family is the size of a small nation and the pre-luncheon din alone makes small talk more like small yells, and you're balancing two plates so you don't have to brave the mile long food line again too soon, simultaneously trying to keep gravy off your new buttery soft mustard hued top--social anxiety puts your (my) brain on auto-pilot. This is why, when my uncle behind me me in line said "Hi Julie!" I quickly exclaimed "Hey! Merry Christmas!" Um. Yeah. I made a joke of it, like I always do. And then I presumed to be uncharacteristically social and commented how much my cousins family had grown since I'd seen him last. He responded that it was as much as it was going to grow, so of course I had to quip "Oh come on now, don't be a quitter!" That too I had to laugh off and then quickly escape. I decided for the remainder of the time to hide safely in a small breakfast nook until I saw others start to leave.

Why, every time I try to type "let me know" on my phone, does it autocorrect to "leery me knits"? The best explanation I've decided is that my autocorrect was programmed by an angry leprechaun. It makes for some interesting text conversations, like "We'll be heading your way tomorrow, ok if we stop?" "Yeah, just leery me knits." Or "Might get free turkey coupon from work today." "Ooo, leery me knits. Wish it was ham."

I'm having a love/hate relationship with slippers right now. There's never a right temperature with them, they either keep my feet freezing cold or blazing hot. And I know if I keep throwing them in the washer to freshen them up they're going to fall apart. However, I wear them because they keep me blissfully ignorant of the crumbs under my feet, thereby relieving the anxious need to obsessively sweep the floor.

That is not teen spirit you smell.

Because I decided to slip them off as I sat here to write on my leery me knits phone (because our operating system deleted itself again on the old PC) I have a cold, wet dog nose stuck between two of my toes.

I still have not eaten the cheese bread sticks.

At this point I think I've exhausted the well of crazy that was about to bubble over, so I'll leave you to your day.